How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
What did the O say to the Q?
Dude, your dick’s hanging out.
What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?
A glad-he-ate-her.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.
What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Just-in!
Why are men like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
What type of bird gives the best head?
A swallow.
What’s better than a cold Bud?
A warm bush.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
What do you call a guy with a giant dick?
Phil!
Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
What’s the best part about gardening?
Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!
Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
He only comes once a year.
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