I can't take that chance

 My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem."

Me: "Ship her home."
Funeral director: "But sir, why don't you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can save money."
Me: "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can't take that chance."